...flyin' solo this weekend...

J left for South Carolina today for a sales conference. Usually I get a little sad when he's out of town without me, but for this time, I admit, I didn't even think about how I was going to miss him. Things have been a little weird for me lately, and I could really use a little 'alone' time to clear my head. Or, maybe I'm not missing him because I missed church last night. I've been attending a bible study at church every Thursday for the past 3 weeks now. I promised myself and God that I'd stick to it, and not miss any classes. I broke that promise yesterday, and I was furious at myself. I won't put the blame on J, although he did ask me to help him with his packing, also, he needed me to drive him to work in the morning and then drive the car back to his place, which meant that I had to sleep over Thursday night. Of course I said I'd help him. (although I didn't help with any of his packing at all, which I'm cool with) Anyway, bottom line is, I should've stuck to my first plan, to go to church and then go back to his place afterwards. The only thing is, the bible study starts at 6:30 and ends at 9:15pm, which meant that by the time I'd get to J's place, it would've been almost 11pm, and I honestly didn't feel like taking the transit that late. So, I chose the easier route, I drove J to work Thursday morning, and picked him up at 6:30pm. I would've asked J to take me to church, but the problem is that his dad works graveyard shifts from 8pm to 5am, and they share the car, but I was just foolish to think that somehow J would accomodate me. I was foolish to think he'd let his dad take the transit to work. Anyway, I was mad at myself for not making the right decision. Lately I've wanted to renew my faith in God, after 7 years of neglect, I finally had the courage and made the decision to attend bible study and go to church. I just strongly feel that I need God in my life, and to have faith, so I'm working on that right now. And what's funny is that before, I hated going to church, going to bible study, hanging out with fellow Christians who seemed so strict, to me, it was all just a chore back then, but now, I actually look forward to bible study (that's why I was so upset) and church, and I'm more interested in God and the Bible than ever...

I'm not doing much this weekend although I am 'alone'. I do plan to go to church tomorrow. But it's C's bday celebration tomorrow, and I have to go. Well, I really don't have to, but I feel bad since she's been talking about it for months now. Oh well, I'm a light-weight drinker, so I'll be ok. A couple of drinks and I'm good.