Summer Fizz

[edit] It came to me as a shock. Twice.

While on MSN today, A. who I haven't seen or spoken to in years, sent me a message. You know, the regular how's it going, what have you been up to...towards the end of the conversation she told me she saw my pictures from Las Vegas and said she almost didn't recognize me because of my weight gain. To be exact, she called me 'taba', after that she said she hoped I wouldn't get mad. I really didn't think anything of it because I knew I had gained weight, it wasn't like I was trying to deny it.

A few hours later I decided to all my cousin in New Jersey. We started talking and she mentioned she saw my pictures. She wasn't as polite as A. (which is totally fine, I'd rather she be honest to me than lie) Ate was like, what happened! You're so fat! I really didn't think I looked that fat, at least I didn't look and/or feel overweight. So I asked her if I really looked overweight, and her reply was a yes with an exclamation point.

I honest to God didn't think I looked that bad, or that I looked overweight. I've thought of myself as chubby rather than fat. Anyway, it totally turned my whole day around. I feel disgusted, lazy, ugly, and obviously overweight.

I called J after my conversation with Ate and I asked him if I really was fat, and to tell me the truth. Of course he didn't say flat out that I was fat, but he did say that I had progressively gained weight over the last five years.

I felt so sad, I really did feel like crying.

It's time. It starts tomorrow. [edit]

My newest splurge...Cool Water Summer Fizz for Women by Davidoff. Love this fragrance.

Notice I added a Private section to my blog. Obviously you'll need a password to view private posts, so you can email me for that.